I gave up coffee some years ago and suffered excruciating caffeine withdrawal, so I vowed never to become dependent again. However, some things are not simply black and white, on and off, caffeine or decaf...
In my lifetime I have given up smoking 3 times - twice for pregnancies and finally for my health. The third and final time that I postponed that next cigarette indefinitely was definitely the hardest. I now have a phobia of starting again. Living in Egypt the Shisha culture beckons, and I dare not sample it lest I crave a ciggie. I can't imagine myself smoking now. So yes I have an addictive personality, but I can say no. But I digress.
I have recently discovered that I have a problem with my gut, and in the process of healing this I am trying very very hard to give up sugars and processed food. I am a biscuit addict, and I have (almost) given up eating biscuits. I am down from quite a few per day to one or two a week. I am proud of this. But the sugar withdrawal has been hard - I get grumpy and short tempered. Not good for a teacher...
This brings me back to coffee. I drink a lot of herbal tea. I drink my rooibos, rooibos with cinnamon, lemon and ginger, chamomile, majoram, hibiscus, hibiscus with cinnamon, the list is endless. When I drink these teas I drink them without milk or sweeteners of any sort, and I enjoy them immensely - I can't imagine starting my day any other way than with a big mug of lemon and ginger tea. And. of course, all of these are caffeine free.
BUT...
When I get to work I have a cup of coffee. Sometimes there's perk on the go which is a bonus, or I'll just have a nice hot cup of Nescafe. Black. With 2 sugars. Now, I'm not sure if it's the sugar or the caffeine that makes me human, but without that kick before the first bell, I am not a nice person. I have learnt this over the years, and in order for me not to be arrested for murdering one of my students I have given in and had that cup of coffee. Now it has got to the stage where if I don't have it I get a caffeine withdrawal headache, which is a bad thing. I hate the thought that some external force has such an effect on my body, but I know the consequences if I don't. Drink. That. Coffee.
After that caffeine jumpstart, during the day at school I drink rooibos tea, or at least, herbal tea of some sort, and I'm fine. Human. Accommodating. Probably even nice to my students. I get home from work at about 16:00. Now, 16:00 is my limit for having coffee if I want to sleep at all that night. Coffee after 17:00 and I'm ready for an all-nighter. So I like to have a cup when I get home, as it sets me up for the evening when I'm out tutoring. I discovered the Nescafe cappuccino range, and particularly enjoy the vanilla flavour. They have just brought out a caramel flavour which I just bought yesterday. Which I now won't be able to try today. Or ever, actually, if I'm to incorporate these healthy habits into my lifestyle... I justify these drinks because I don't add sugar to them. (They probably already contain huge amounts of sugar anyway.) Maybe I'll bring them to school and have one in the morning instead of in the afternoon, and go back to rooibos in the afternoon instead.
Who would have thought that just not having caffeine would be such an epic dilemma?
Do you think that maybe I'm overthinking this whole thing?
Sigh.
I guess this is what I'll have to do - edge my way out of my comfort zone. and fake being nice to my students!
Thank you for reading all the way to this point - and hopefully we'll meet again tomorrow when we have to eat green veggies with dinner...
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